Thoughts



















Dear Raphael,

Look through the contact list..... Cousins, close friends, secondary school friends of mine are all inside his mass mailing list. What is the problem with him? Shortage of his own friends? Why is he so thick skin to be emailing people whom are really close to me.... all of them know we are at war over you, baby and he is the one who is causing all the unneccessary cost and trouble and denying all my rights for you. And what is he trying to show? Such a shameless action..... but what to do.. he is shameless by nature.

****************************************
From: Jerome Tay Beng Thai jerometbt@yahoo.com.sg
To: Limin Charles , SPF-Ang Han Sin , Khng Zhi Hong SPF-Benson , SPF-Lim Chong Wah , Koh Lik Puay SPF-Winnie , Kho Jeff , Neo Jensen , Huang Si'en Jestina , Choo Joy , Justin , Fong Kaitlyn , Akhtar Kamal , Ong Soon Wah Mavis , Kway Melvyn , Poh Poh Hong , Poh Raymond , Poh Rena , Liang Sally , Koh Sarah , Choong Wai Leong Sebastian , Chua Bee Ling Sharon , Tay Sheryl , Ong Susie , Thung Susy , Tay Sylvester , Sze Yiing , Tay Mingli , Xiao Long , Ibrahim Adam , Tan Amy , Andrea , Ong Andrew , S April , Loo Burlney , Chung Wei Tin , Teo Dawn , Kang Lai Bao Elieen , Neo Esther , Mao Eve , Foo Li Ming , Moh Freddie , Tan Gee , Chng Hui Shan Hilary , Yu Ivan , Lee Swee Fong Jasmin , Jasmine , Chand Veronica , Goh Lay Hua Wendy , Lim Ban Hua Alan , Choon Alex , Woo Chin Hock Chris , Nai Wun Siong Derek , Lim Kok Huei Eddie , Lum Kwek Choy Francis , Neo Say Kee Frankie , Goh Jin Leong Gene , Lum Kok Meng Giorson , See Chin Kiat Jason , Chong Wai Keong Jeffrey , Cheng Mun Chiong Jimmy , Lee Joo Tong John , Sing Huey Ong Kelvin , Woon Tai How Kelvin , Hoh Kenneth , Lee Hwee Meng , Foo Michael , Lim Mike , Tan Thiam Dee Peter , Teo Chew Siong Raymond , Lim Yak Huat Rick , Tan Teck Lim Terry , Teo E154-Linda , Lim Li Ping E154-Tracy , Tan Phuay Heng Alvin , Cheah Chin Chye , Lee Thomas , Yeo Kok Teow

*****************************************

Yesterday, Grandma cried.. when we talked about you. And to prevent my tears from falling I changed the topic so many times.... ... cos 2 woman crying is not a good sight for your gong gong to handle ... so i have to be strong for grandma ... as i have faith...in God. Lots of things i saw during the GSS... reminds me of you. I walked to the children department... and grandma and gong gong found me there... they thought it was the last place that i should have been cos i no longer have the excuse or 'rights' to walk through there.. to look out for things for you. There is no reason why i should be there.... that sentence pierce through my heart.... even though you are not with me physically... you are always in my thoughts cos i love you dearly.

Loving you always, Raphael

LionHeart roars at Monday, May 29, 2006 1 comments

1 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Your are Excellent. And so is your site! Keep up the good work. Bookmarked.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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Mediation Court


Dear Raphael,

After today court case, i have only one phrase for your daddy... . a pathetic loser

His lies are getting more outrageous. He told the judge that he is not hot tempered... ha ha.. understatement of the year. He already lied to the judge that he did not hit me....during my 3rd week of maternity.. but he carried on his lies even further.. he told the judge that ah gong was not in sg at that point of time, he was in china... ha ha.... i nearly laughed out loud. How stupid can your daddy get? Firstly ah gong was the one who intervene.... and the whole family was at home.. and ah gong has not started business in china at that point of time.... excuse me! You can check from the customs if ah gong is in sg or not... that is stupidity! Telling lies without using his brains... but i guess you cant expect much from him.

And he wants me to pay for your medical bills.... huh?? When he doesn't tell me the dates of your appointments and surgery? And the wicked witch of the west is there all the time.... doing her share of being your 'mommy'? Why don't your daddy asked her to pay.. since she is role playing the stepmother.... and he don't give me the rights of being a mother.... so...why should i do my rights as a mother the way he wants .... let the wicked witch of the west pay and do everything lah? Since he wants to marry her....

And for the drop off point for you.... he wants me to be fully responsible for the charges if i want to see you...ha ha.... when did the mother has to pay to see my child? And he said that it is not his problem that you do not want to see me? Then whose fault? It is the upbringing, my dear... he has done the brain washing... to this kind of extent and he don't want to be responsible... oh i forgot... your daddy has never been responsible for any actions for me. It is natural that he will run away from all these.....

I gave birth to you baby... so am i supposed to charge him for the months of carrying you inside me and the pain of giving birth to you... to balance up the fact that i need to pay if i want to see you? where is the logic? How despicable can he get?

How loser can a guy be? To deny all responsibilities as a man. He should be happy that i didn't state about his incapabilities as a lover... all i stated in my cross petiton are facts of his incapabilities as a man as a husband... i did not mentioned about his prejaculation stuffs or how his nose bleed whenever we had intimacies.... i spare his ego for that....

And he still has the cheek to email my cousins and friends stupid jokes to flood their email... shameless.

Oh and the funny part... he actually printed out the photos of mommy and friends together .... and the judge said that .... there is nothing wrong with the pictures... they are friends..... ha ha. Smack him right in the face.... he is insecure, too sensitive....high imagination... kept on thinking that i was unfaithful... kaoz.... of course... he has the right and reason to do that.... because he knows that he had failed as a man, as a husband, as a lover.... and the wife left him because of all these..... now, he feel angry so the only way that he can get back at me for hurting his ego as he believed that i left him for a woman..... is through you, baby... and by petitioning i am non commited and with affairs....

But of course raphael.... if i really want to compare.... he cannot even match up to a woman in everything. Emotionally, physically as in being there for me.... he can't. He can't even meet the pre requisite.

I love you baby... and i am doing my best to be with you. And he is trying all his ways to get me out of your life..... He wants me totally out...but yet.. he wants me to be responsible for you financially.... as in giving him money to pay his bills in the pretext of maintaince for you..... ha ha.

When you have grown up.... look upon these and laugh at his nonsensical immature demands....

I am sure most the people around me are laughing and shaking their heads....
'Why is there such a loser in the midst of man?'

Lovingly yours, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Friday, May 26, 2006 15 comments

15 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

you are far too kind in yr words about him

Friday, May 26, 2006 1:37:00 AM  
Blogger Wei shoots...

A loser forever a loser, he shld go n tink why u left for a woman becos hes such a desciple thing, note tt i dun even wan to say hes a MAN nor an animal... if most guys are like him, i tink mankind will extinct!!!

Shameless liar! lets jus see when his karma comes, such ppl go around building lies over lies, to tink still gt some1 willing to be with him, she mus be blind or equally bad... or else a sane person would leave, loookin at the way he treats u... wouldnt she hv the brains to tink how he might treat her in future?... wt a brainless witch.

wat ego... hes so low class, hes worse than an ant. Even ants workhard for a living... hahahaa.

i can go on n on n write a whole essay but i better stop, cos no pt wasting ym time scolding such person.

Friday, May 26, 2006 1:45:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

very petty man, a croward indeed.After reading this blog, one can tell how much u luv your son..love him as much as u do now and never let this croward take awya that..one day you will be able to reunite wif your dear son again..be strong..remember, What does not kill u makes u stronger

Friday, May 26, 2006 12:02:00 PM  
Blogger Corinne shoots...

Personally as a mother myself, I think it is such agony to go through all that.

You see your own child drifting away from you every other day and yet you cannot do anything about it.

This pain that you are going through, is HELL.

It is very sad and this affects his growing up as well.

It is secondary to talk about the other issues now and I really hope that your son will get to see the real you one day.

Friday, May 26, 2006 12:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

HE IS JUST A JERK !!!
He is not fit to be called human like anyone of us.
HE IS JUST ANOTHER ANIMAL !!!
Oh ... He is just another piece of trash. As for THAT 'stepma', well ... guess it takes one to know another.

Friday, May 26, 2006 12:56:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

well ... wat more needs 2 be said ? he's just a pathetic loser who has guns but has to borrow rounds from you. hopefully he does the right thing by handing Raphael to you. i didn't know he had THAT kinda problems when hitting the sack. hope he still has the same problems when he wants 2 screw any1. haha

Friday, May 26, 2006 3:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Wat hitting the sack? I think hitting the bucket suits him better.

Friday, May 26, 2006 7:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Now I see that what you're going through is definitely worst than mine. Mine can't even be compared. Sigh....

And after reading, I can actually relate to how my mum felt when she was going through the divorce and fighting of custody.

Be strong and hang on for your son. One day he'll come round.

And I hope everything will turn out well for you. God will bless you through this and let your son come back to you.

I know no matter how much words said won't help but if you ever need a listening ear, I can offer.

Zac (zackie53)

Saturday, May 27, 2006 3:01:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

be strong. take comfort in the fact that god sees the good that you do, and the love that you have for Raphael. believe in karma, he'll get his just deserts. and if you really hate him, just let him die to you - let the memories (good and bad ones) vanish, forget his existence.

its not easy to move on but you can definately do it. *BIG HUG*

PS.i think you're really pretty. hahaha. =)

love,
a not so young kid

Sunday, May 28, 2006 12:25:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Hi. May I ask why is your son under the care of your ex-husband? I thought the child of a divorced couple would normally be awarded to the mother? Please correct me if I am wrong. Take care.

Sunday, May 28, 2006 2:10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Hi, I feels that you are a strong woman and a good mum. I really hope that you will be able to reunite with your son 1 day.

Sunday, May 28, 2006 7:45:00 AM  
Blogger LionHeart shoots...

Thank you all for your encouragement.

For some questions, the divorce has not been finalised. So therefore he does not have the custody.

If i had raphael, and i don't give him back to him also can... it can also work that way. And he will be the one fighting for access.

But i don't do lowly kind of stuff that he did by not letting me have my son a few years ago. And now by brain washing raphael to make sure he does not come back to me. That is the actions of a desperate loser.

Monday, May 29, 2006 11:05:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Hi

Wah, I really cannot believe what he does, he is just a looser and a xiao bai lian la, I TOUGHT the guy is supposed to help pay for most of the expenses?... Maybe he is not a guy at all, did u check carefully?

Monday, May 29, 2006 12:03:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Hmm I love the idea behind this website, very unique.
»

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 5:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Very best site. Keep working. Will return in the near future.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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Last Day of Exams


Dear Raphael,

Today is the last day of my exams. And last night, while i was going to sleep, i felt so stressed up. I thought of you... wishing that you are around to tell me "jia you" and "Everything will be alright" My tears just fell rapidly on the pillow. I can just feel your little hands wiping away my tears.... and telling me that you love me..... With the thought of that, i fell asleep till 1pm in the afternoon.

Wish me luck, baby.
I love you,
Mommy.

LionHeart roars at Tuesday, May 23, 2006 4 comments

4 hunters:

Blogger LionHeart shoots...

Dear Raphael,

Guess what? Your daddy must have read my blog again and knows that i am having my exam today. And he sent 'best wishes' about the renovation loan through sms in all capital letters at 530pm just before my exams to affect my mood. So 'thoughtful' and 'caring' of him. You should be 'proud' of such a daddy.

Remember to pray for your daddy...

Love always, Mommy

Tuesday, May 23, 2006 11:55:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

despicable
he wan u to fail n be lk him... loser w no paper
i HATE ppl who stop another from studyin
paper may look unimpt, but in sg, it means alot

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 3:17:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 5:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Super color scheme, I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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At the Window


Dear Raphael,

I was at AMK in the evening. Looking out of the condo window.... staring into the night...my thoughts ran to you. Wishing you were here with me .... wishing we were looking at the same piece of sky. Wishing... just wishing .... to see you again.

It is so ridiculous that somebody can comment that i do not care about you ... cos i didn't go and see you. And when i go and see you, somebody called the police. So i was wondering if the somebody can make up his mind.... so whatever i do.... i go and see you.... or not to see you when he is around.. he can also find ways to brain wash you.

I do see you often baby.... please bear that in mind. You do not see me... but i see you... i see you clearly from afar...when you are doing your work... listening to your teacher teaching... you reading your book.... i always have you in my heart... your picture is as clear as crystal.... in my mind.

I do watch over you... i do see you ..... hidden behind the shadows... hidden behind the walls...
If you watch closely enough... you will see me near... near your heart....

Tears just roll down....when i am penning my feelings down for you right now....

Loving you lots... Missing you lots...
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Saturday, May 20, 2006 1 comments

1 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Super color scheme, I like it! Good job. Go on.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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Thoughts

Dear Raphael,

I didn't know that somebody has been a fanatic fan of my blog to you... so here i am.. penning my thoughts to that fanatic fan of mine.... Guess he/she must be so so free to come here so often to read what i write.

Let's have a scenerio:

An ex partner is supposedly to be attached with another. But why is he keep on watching out on his ex partner's profile, diaries and other things that is related to the her. Isn't he supposedly to be very happy and has already got over the fact that he was dumped? Then why is he keep on being bothered about his ex's life. Periodically he keeps on doing that to check on the ex.

Maybe it is out of goodness or ill intentions... it is worth thinking. Maybe he should really ask himself why he bothers. Or is there a part of him that feels insecure or inferior... Guess he needs some serious reflection on this matter. It doesnt makes any sense at all. His ex has already moved on and is happy and don't bother about the ongoings of other people.

But sometimes it seems that he is so interested in what the ex's wrote in the blog and find fault and ways to get even ... Such a sad case for him. Maybe he is not happy being hen pecked all the time... or maybe he is not 'satisfied' with his love life.... or maybe he can't handle losing... or maybe he is just trying to get attention..... sigh... his life must be so boring to come and bother other people's lives.

A word of Advice:
Get on with your life and go ahead and be happy. No need to come and look at your ex blog anymore. Move on. No matter how much you wallow in self pity that you lost your partner due to your pathetic loser ways, she won't come back anymore ever again cos you will always be a loser in her eyes, no matter how much you tried not to be.

Baby Raphael, do you find him pathetic?
So sad... he must be feeling so lousy and depressed all the time to really spend time to read up all the things about his ex and scheme.. plan.. and then put his plan into actions. Tedious work... childish.. immature too.
We should pity him.. We should feel so sorry for him.

Let's put our hands together to pray that he will get his peace... even though he is a christian.
He needs alot of prayers to get him to heaven.

Lovingly yours, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Thursday, May 18, 2006 2 comments

2 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

its very obvious 2 whom u r referring 2...it must b tat particular loser in ur life

Wednesday, May 31, 2006 4:16:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

This site is one of the best I have ever seen, wish I had one like this.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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A Story Just For You


Dear Raphael,

Let me tell you a story...

Two neighbouring castles are really good friends and they are in the process of doing some treaty agreement between them .... During the process of doing so.....The head of the troop heard from one of his junior soldiers that the neighbouring castle chief of the troop has said nasty things about him.... and within the next minute, there he goes dashing to the neighbouring castle declaring a war.... the neighbouring chief of the troop looked at him in astonishment... and asked... please.. may i ask... what did i say? And the head of the troop said... er.. i don't know... i heard from my junior soldiers that you said something nasty, that's all.

Sometimes... You need to check out facts first before you .... go rushing into the other person's territory and declare war and put yourself in a vulnerable position. And of course, do not listen to your junior soldiers who tries to instigate you to do something... when of course he has no means of doing it himself.

This story is so funny that it kept me in stitches for the whole day.... ha ha.

Lovingly yours,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Thursday, May 18, 2006 1 comments

1 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Super color scheme, I like it! Keep up the good work. Thanks for sharing this wonderful site with us.
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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First Day of Exam


Dear Raphael,

Today is the first day of my exams. And i was so frustrated in the wee hours in the morning at 1 am. As your daddy messaged me over the renovation loan again. Must sue him for harrassment during unearthly hours. He is not sleeping doesn't mean that i am not sleeping. And moreover on the first day of my exams... TMD.

Since i can't hear your voice or see you ... to give me strength for my exams. I went to grandma house to spend the afternoon with them. Before going for my exams at night.

The paper was really unexpected as the questions are not even similar to the past year exam papers. My head nearly cracked from thinking too much. And of course, 3 hours for a maths paper is too little.... sigh....

I can hope for the best. Baby, pray for me too....
One down... another one to go on next tuesday...

I love you....

Stressed out,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Tuesday, May 16, 2006 1 comments

1 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site. Keep working. Thank you.
»

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 5:26:00 PM  

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Happy Mother's Day


Dear Raphael,

I celebrated Mother's Day with my mommy, of course. Gong gong and me had lunch and dinner with her.... while you had yours elsewhere .... how was your day? Did you think of me on this day?

You were always on my mind.. i miss you...
I hope you will get to know how much i love you... and how much i miss you.....
I want to spend my lifetime loving you unconditionally....

Yours lovingly, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Sunday, May 14, 2006 0 comments

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Memorable


A memory for keeps of happier times together not so long ago

LionHeart roars at Saturday, May 13, 2006 2 comments

2 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!
»

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 5:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Nice colors. Keep up the good work. thnx!
»

Friday, July 21, 2006 1:52:00 PM  

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Farewell Party For Joshua and Natasha

Eve and Oliver going back to Austria for good.
And of course with Joshua and Natasha (far left and right)
Baby Dominic (below)


Dear Raphael,
Holding on to little Dominic really brought back memories when you were in my arms at that age... oh so sweet so innocent. Everytime looking around for me... that kind of trust in me, your mommy.
Joshua and Natasha will be going back to Austria for good. Guess you will only get to see them when either you visit them or they come back to Sg for visit. All of them asked about you...
I heard something from Oliver.... you went for your day surgery in KK on 9th May. It so happens that you had the same surgery with Joshua. I was so frustrated... i didn't even know. And of course... your daddy never informed me about it as that woman was there... as your fake 'mommy'. Depriving me of being there as your real mother....
I still remember last time.... i heard from ah ma that you went to KK for appointment and i called your daddy and ask why he didn't tell me... he was so rude.. and said.... "why should i tell you? You do not need to know..." At the background... i heard that woman voice... and i ask him... is that the reason why you never tell me... cos that woman was there.... He still have the cheek to say "ya. .. so what? You do not need to come... cos she is here...." I remembered that i was so hurt that i slammed down his phone. So when did the real mother became the back up plan?
This time round.. he didn't informed.. and don't have the courtesy to tell me. This shows that he don't even respect my rights as a mother... and using that woman as a poor substitute.
This is the first time i was not around you when you have a surgery.... i hope you got a bravery cert. Recovering well.... and of course healthy.
I will always be with you spiritually even though i am not there physically through no fault of mine. It is your daddy who is denying my rights intentionally and substituting with a nobody.
I will always be there for you.. loving you lots.
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Saturday, May 13, 2006 0 comments

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A Fully Developed Baby in the Womb


Dear Raphael,

You are just so precious to me cos you came from me. I love you baby. Mother's day is this Sunday. Hope you are thinking of me as many times as i think of you... I miss you much.

Love, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Wednesday, May 10, 2006 0 comments

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A glimpse of Hope

Dear Raphael,

Today, i received a few phone calls which gave me a glimpse of hope. To see you once again. To spend time with you once a gain.

It seems that your daddy's lawyer is a lady with no children before, maybe that is why she will never understand a mother's plight in having her child taken away from her. The proceedings will always be dragging... cos she has claimed that you did not want to see me. Which is due to the course of negative influence which is of course being taught by her client but of course the client doesn't want to admit that he is at fault.

But a mother has every right to see and spend time with her child regardless of whether the child wants to or not... as it is obvious from all my months of posting that something has been drummed into you.

So therefore with her encouragement, i am going to carry that hope with me... and wait for it to come true... With his actions, he wil do his best in getting the time for you and me.... With his support, I will always have the strength to wait... for your return.

Loving you lots,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Sunday, May 07, 2006 0 comments

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May 2, 2006

Dear Raphael,

5 months already. Being away from you.... I received an email from a long time friend today. She said that she did it with you the 2 years ago while you were at her house, supposedly to be given it to me 2 years ago also but it didn't manage to be given away. Now, it seems more appropriate to be given to me now... It brought tears to my eyes ... pictures full of you with loving words.. and captions. And the last picture... wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.....



Gosh... I miss you much Raphael

Lots of kisses,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Tuesday, May 02, 2006 4 comments

4 hunters:

Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

Little Raf have changed... his mind is poisoned and his attitude is so bad but as a mum i knw u can never let him go... sigh...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006 5:42:00 PM  
Blogger LionHeart shoots...

Yes.. i can never let him go. I guess that is a mother's love

Tuesday, May 02, 2006 9:29:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

It is so sad and despondent to see so much hatred in a young child. Whoever and whatever have caused that, have rob the poor boy innocence!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 11:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous shoots...

actually he is suffering too..jsut tat his dad made it worse
cos he knows tat u wanan fight for the custody of the child so he did all he cld to psycho himit worse

Wednesday, May 03, 2006 11:30:00 AM  

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