Pain Once Again

Dear Raphael,

Your words hurt me once again like a knife piercing into my heart. She was there once again. This is the 2nd time this year... last week was the first i saw her. I asked if there was anyone teaching you.... you said yes..... mommy.... it was painful... heard you refering her as your mommy hurt me deep. My tears flow once again. Every week, with her around, your unintentional words cut me deep.

Ah ma shouted out: Raphael, if you don't want to eat, i will eat it. Come in and eat first, go behind, talk later....

Raphael, mommy is sitting in the sun, trying to have a decent 10 min conversation with you. But yet, others are always trying to cut short my time with you. In the end, i am always losing my quality time with you.

I love you baby,
Be with me,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Saturday, March 31, 2007 0 comments

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A glimpse of You

Dear Raphael,

Grandma missed you so much that i took her on a detour to catch a glimpse of you. But your ah ma saw us... and quickened her steps ... you were in school early. In your red shirt and slippers. Grandma teared again... saying that you were so skinny. You looked backwards a few times... and of course your ah ma also did that... like wanted to check if we were following... but all we want to do is to take a peek at you once more....

Sometimes, grandma will teared silently with thoughts of you... packing your toys again and again. She missed you alot... infact, all of us do. Just that grandma is more emotional and can't control her actions and emotions. Me and gong gong have to be strong for her.... and baby, please do think of us now and then...

Missing you always,
Mommy

LionHeart roars at Tuesday, March 27, 2007 0 comments

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Counselling for the Custody of Raphael

Dear Raphael,

Appointment for the counselling is at 2.30pm. I reached there at 2.15pm. As usual, your father is a perpectually late comer. He reached at 3.20pm. I was already inside the room with the counsellor... talked till i cried. It is painful to tell another the pain that you have put me through. A mother's love... that is being taken away. And being replaced by someone else.

Baby, I am still keeping to my word.. that i will fight for you, fight for your happiness, fight for your future. Please give me time. You are all the strength that i needed in this war.....

Love, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Monday, March 26, 2007 0 comments

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Last Day

Dear Raphael,

Today is the last day of mommy being a teacher. I have made up my mind that you are my priority and if it takes my job away to be a full time mother to you. I will do it. I resigned one month ago. And now, being unemployed.. i hope to get full custody of you to take care of you.. and give you my all. I love you.. mother's love.. is unconditional. I doubt your daddy can even afford to pay for my maintenance.

I walked out of the school gates... and i didn't look back. Being a teacher is a passion and love for the children. Yes.... there was passion... there was love.. and all because of you... to give you a better future if i am in the educational field of work. But now, enough. I am going to give you my all with all the expertise that i have learnt from my 8 years in the teaching industry....

Please Raphael, come back to mommy....

Love always, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Friday, March 23, 2007 0 comments

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Your Birth Cert

Dear Raphael.....

Wanted to ask your daddy for a copy of your birth cert for personal use.. and see all these kind of messages your daddy sent... i wonder... what is there to fear ... just your birth cert. Don't i even have a right to it? This is call purposely making things difficult just for a simple request....

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I believe u mean Raphael's birt cert. I dun have d copy of d marriage cert, u came to my hse once and took it away... Y do u need d birth cert?

Why do i need to tell him?

U get me wrong... i noe where is d birth cert... all i nid to noe y u nid a copy of Raphael's birth cert.. .by asking you this, i dun think i m making things difficult for u rite?

Just a birth cert and he thinks that he is entitled to a reason...

U dun have to explain to me and i m not picking up a quarrel wif u n i'm not purposely making things difficult for you by asking u this question... I'll definitely give u a copy but i nid u to tell me, nt explain, wat is ur purpose of having a copy please... i think it only rite tat i noe watz ur plan n mayb we can discuss... but if u dun feel comfortable telling me, please ask ur lawyer to write to my lawyer to request for a copy ok, stating ur purpose ok... Thanks

NOT MAKING THINGS DIFFICULT??? what discussion?
when i need to get the lawyer to get a birth cert... How dumb can he gets?

U r making things difficult for me... I dun wanna live in doubt not knowing y u suddenly nid it for n i'm asking u nicely y u nid it... A copy of the cert is always around, we dun have to choose to make such a big fuss or quarrel over it... if u still wanna be so stubborn, please ask your lwyer to write to my lawyer la... i dun wanna waste our time to quarrel over such simple request... i'm willing to open up to u but u aren't

Living in doubt??? or living in fear..... i think it is fear.. of what i can do with son's birth cert...
He knows it is a simple request but he still waste time in giving it to me... if you have done nothing wrong against one's conscience... why do you need to live in doubt or fear??? I really wonder why........ anyway.. i didn't get the BC like what he said he will definitely give....

u're d one who's nt committed in our marriage n constantly lying to me n ur son... u r d one who had wasted so much of my time in this lifetime over something so worthless, not me.... Today u still dare to tell me i wasted ur lifetime! I've forgiven u time n again in d past, dun expect me to b likewise today... if u are nt willing to behave n discuss things properly, esp abt our son, i'll direct it to my lawyer... so please, let's not quarrel, watz past is past ok

Nothing to say... drag up the past and say... make himself seems to 'wei da' for christ sake.... Forgive me time and again???? what did i do wrong to be forgiven by him.... he is not GOD loh.

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Sigh.. Baby... you see the whole book of what your daddy's lawyer wrote....

I was laughing with my lawyer over it ... so hilarious... so much untruths...

I wonder who is lying... Baby... when you grow up... i hope you will see the lies that he told...


Lovingly yours, Mommy

LionHeart roars at Thursday, March 08, 2007 0 comments

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