I dreamt of Raphael.

And i woke up feeling so so sad that whenever i think about the dream, tears will well up inside me threatening to fall. Tears come easily whenever i think of my son.

I drove him home to his PAP. And i left him there. Went to work... but i have a sense of uneasiness, so i took leave and went back to the PAP ... Raphael was not there.. then i went over to that idiot's house, and he was not there... i panic. So i look around for him around the PAP. Found him hiding under the table at a coffee shop sobbing his heart out ... i hold out to him and he came running into my arms... and he kept on telling me not to leave him and to take him away with me. I was sobbing at that time, promising him that i will never leave him. And will not force him to return to that house again.

Tears still welled up inside me when i typed down my dream.... once not long ago, my son pleaded with me with these words.. and it haunted me till now that i let him down.

Causing him to behave this way against me as i did not shield him and protect him the way that i should by letting him go back to that house, that family.

I am so sorry Raphael ... please forgive me.


2 hunters:

Anonymous shoots...
Was concerned over your dream so I did some research of my own. This was what I found...Leaving your son in school signifies that you view your present as a non-issue because you feel that you are in control and have the skills necessary to resolve the problem. Hence, you feel comfortable 鈥渓eaving鈥?him there. This will tie in nicely with the significance of a child in your dreams 鈥?Innocence. This鈥檒l mean that you have an inert wish for things to develop at a faster pace than it is. The current situation is at an infant / early stage and you鈥檒l like for things to move on.However, a crying child will signify that you are getting very much stressed over the turn of events and need an outlet of release. To eventually find your son at a coffeeshop, where the key word here, I estimate, would be 鈥渃offee鈥?will mean that you are over-stimulated and in line with the previous reading, over-stressed. This translates into a need for you to slow down and view the current situation with much more analysis.In conclusion, in your life right now, you are bogged down by what is happening and would like very much to move on, though it is probably beyond your control. However, it is affecting you so much you may be on the verge of a breakdown. The remedy is to take a step back and slow your thoughts down. Likely rationale: University studies stress + Work poor results concern + Issues with previous marriage Suggested remedy: Pace yourself in your studies (time management?), Understand that the work concerns are beyond your control and you just have to do what you can, Ask yourself and consult your lawyer what are the immediate steps are and take it one at a timeLL
2/3/06 13:06

Wei shoots...
wow... what u wrote brought tears into my eyes too... You are far too stressed already... u really ought to speak to the lawyers and see if theres any other more speedy methods to get this resolved... its very unhealthy for yr mental. And everytime after u try to visit him and get all those horrible treatments its even worse... and moreover yr work and studies is also very stressful..How much can a person hold!? i dun wan to see u down with depression one day... pls take care...
2/3/06 13:34